Nothing about my childhood was ordinary. I have busked on the streets of Tokyo to Warsaw, Copenhagen to Chicago. I lived in Communist Poland, out of a vans, homeless, in campgrounds, away from my parents, and the queen’s prior stop over palace, with nearly 100 people in Copenhagen.
At 16 when we made it back to United States my brother and I enrolled ourselves in highschool where we completing four years in two.
I was blessed to meet my husband right after high school and he was the first person I trusted and shared my many dark secrets from my past. He also encouraged me to go to the School of Mines. After working hard to pay for college and graduating with an engineering degree, I was a proud independent woman.
Although I believed in God, I thought I was the master of my fate, the captain of my ship, and nobody was going to have control of my life. For many years I lived a selfish, judgmental, and proud existence seeking to fill the giant hole we all have in our hearts.
I have overcome a lot of hardships, pain, and obstacles and I mistakenly thought I was the source of all the blessings that I had in my life. I did not trust authority or religion but God in His great mercy continued to pursue me and in 2011 my husband and I started to attend a small church. That is where my heart began to soften and turn to God. I couldn’t understand why I would cry during the songs and every message seemed to be directly to me.
As I continued to learn and understand the message of forgiveness and grace it took me a number of years (and counting) to process the pain and anger from my past. Having children was a major change in my life. They are a blessing and also expose a lot of the areas where I seek to have control. Then, the summer of 2019 when my marriage was almost over I was completely broken and had nowhere to go but to fully surrender to God and His Spirit to heal me, provide for me, forgive for me, and to love unconditionally.
I was blessed to have met Renee and joined Chick Climber the previous summer. I climbed with my husband in the past but the camaraderie understanding, support, and encouragement of a group of women is nothing I had experienced in my life. I’ve always been a self-starter and independent and generally don’t ask for help. But when my world was crashing down, these women were supportive and stood beside me and prayed with me. Along with my church family and friends who all supported me and prayed for the restoration of my marriage; I experienced what the church is all about. God once again performed a miracle in my life and restored my marriage.
My faith in God is so strong now. Even though I know I will continue to face obstacles and pain I know that as it says in Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” and as He says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”