Earlier this summer, while out climbing, my husband called me out on something I didn’t even realize I was saying often. Midway through a tough climb, I muttered, “When I get in shape, I want to try this again.” He looked at me and replied, “You say that all the time. You’re already in shape!”
At first, I brushed off his words—I certainly didn’t feel “in shape.” But his comment stuck with me. I began to notice how often I attached my contentment to a “when.” When I lose weight. When I get healthy. When I have more time. When life gets easier. I realized I was always waiting for the “when” instead of embracing the “now.”
The truth is, I had been looking ahead for something better instead of learning to be content with what God has already given me today. Philippians 4:12–13 says, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”
Of course, growth and improvement are good. We all have struggles, weaknesses, and challenges to work on. But when peace and contentment are constantly shelved—waiting until life looks different—that’s when it becomes a problem. “Keep your lives free from the love of money [You can replace money with anything: talent, career, health, physique, experiences, etc.] and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” (Hebrews 13:5)
As I dug deeper, I realized much of my discontentment was rooted in fear: fear of my lung disease progressing, fear of getting older, fear that I’d never lose the menopause weight, and sometimes, a fear of missing out or being left out. My list of fears went on and on. Yet God’s Word reminds us in Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
So how do we let go of the “whens” and find contentment even when life doesn’t turn out as we expected? It hasn’t been easy, but here’s what I’m learning:
- Enjoy the moment instead of obsessing over the destination.
Psalm 118:24 says, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” I’ve had to stop focusing on the grades I used to climb and instead enjoy the simple movement of climbing, the laughter with friends, and the beauty of God’s creation—no matter the rating. I’ve embraced the concept of 5.Fun.
- Choose gratitude even in setbacks. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Circumstances may not always be ideal, but a grateful heart doesn’t have to depend on them. Praising God through challenges has helped me stop waiting for the “when” and find peace right where I am.
- Work hard, but release expectations.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
We all have hopes, dreams, and desires. However, God ultimately guides the direction of our lives. In Him, I find contentment in the place where I am today. Even when facing unwanted challenges.
I’m still committed to improving my health. I have several goals and dreams that I would like to fulfil. Some may occur, while others may not. Whatever the case may be, I refuse to let unmet expectations steal my joy in today’s blessings.
- Surrender everything to Jesus.
1 Peter 5:7 reminds us, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Some things I can control, many things I can’t. Whether setbacks are out of my control or due to my failures, I can either wallow in discouragement or lay my burdens at the foot of the cross.
Living in prayer, worship, and obedience has replaced my restlessness with a deep sense of peace. Jesus holds my life, and His plan is always good.
Letting go of the “whens” has felt like breaking a bad habit. I still catch myself mid-sentence and need to refocus. But little by little, I see change. If you find yourself stuck in the “whens,” I encourage you to embrace where God has you today and allow Him to reshape your thinking. Contentment isn’t found in a future “when”—it’s found in trusting Him right now. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Rest in that promise.
Reflection Question
What “when” in your own life is keeping you from finding contentment today, and how can you surrender that to Jesus?
Closing Prayer
Lord, thank You for reminding me that true contentment is found in You, not in a future version of myself or my circumstances. Help me to let go of the “whens” that distract me from Your goodness in the present. Teach me to rejoice in today, to give thanks in all circumstances, and to trust Your plan for my life. Replace my fear with faith, my striving with surrender, and my restlessness with peace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.