As I look back on my life, and the lives of others, I have noticed how easy it is to get wrapped up with what is wrong in our circumstances, rather than what is right, or good. We can easy become consumed by our problems, losses, injustices, or shortcoming. Focusing on our pain can keep us in a permanent state of looking back, instead of moving forward. Our heartaches can blind us to the reality of God’s blessings that are around us every day. In those times, we can miss what God is actually doing in our lives. We miss those opportunities to grow, learn, and strengthen who we are as both an individual, and as a precious child of God.
I regrettably did this for so many years as a single mom who came from a place of emotional abuse, addictive relationships, and one heartache after another. I spent most of my days wishing life was different. I wished for a relationship, and different job, and a better living arrangement. I wished I had not gone through the pain I went through, and wanted a “better” life for me and my son. Unfortunately, I could not move beyond my past to see the blessings God had already, and was continuing to provide.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. – 2 Corinthians 5:17
I think of all the time I stayed stuck in my self-pity, and how much I time I spent looking back on the hurt and pain of my past. I became self-absorbed, lonely, and more broken every day. By focusing on my losses and hurt, I prevented myself from moving forward, and growing into the woman God intended me to be.
Meanwhile, while I was spending so much time focuses on my losses in life, God was filling my life with one blessing after another. I am sad to say, I missed most of them by spending so much energy focusing on the hurt, feeling inadequate, and living my life as a damaged person rather than a redeemed and beloved daughter of Christ.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. – Isaiah 43:18-19
During that time, God provided for my son and I by opening doors into the technology industry. I learned everything from building computers, managing Novell and Windows networks, email servers, web development, and even configuring network routers. I could spend hours sharing the testimony of what God did in my career. Long story short, God provided a single mom with a fashion design degree, and virtually no computer experience, a career that generated enough income to get off the welfare system, and eventually purchase a brand new home. Being a single mom is never an easy task, but all in all, we were extremely blessed. My one regret is that I spent so much time focusing on my losses and hurts, that I missed out on the joy that God was showing upon me.
What does all this have to do with climbing? Well, this can be applied to all aspect of our life, even climbing. In part two of this blog, I will get to a specific battle I am dealing with physically that has taken me out of climbing for a while. The road to recovery is not going to be easy. If climbing is like breathing for you, as it is for me, then you know how difficult it is to be shut down just as Spring emerges and climbing vacations are on the horizon.
I can choose to feel sorry for myself, or I can see the blessings of this down time. I can let it defeat me, and miss out on what God has in store for me in the coming months. I can stop training, or I can do the hard work that will allow God to heal my body. All of that will be in my next post. See you soon!
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11
